tekap buah dengan sireh.

i just found out my mom put sireh on a hot glowing charcoal and leave it to warm.
then she dab or should i say press at both of her sons' balls when they were young.
she say this is to avoid it from becoming huge so that they wont feel any ball pains or stomach pains.
*smack forehead*
i seriously need a science explanation for this.

was it wise? i do not know.
yet i still pondered about what's been going through.
what if time was never enough?
enough to prove ourselves worthy of what we are.
what if i am meant to be an incomplete project?
the green monster grows in me every time i see people with smiles and alot of other stuffs.
yet i know that i could be them too if i just position the missile.
many said i m an independent mature young lady and yes i do appreciate the compliments.
but i do not know if i agreeable to such things.
i always seem to know what i am doing. actually, i am just scared.
not of the consequences but scared if what i did satisfy my heart.
and i do not want to make any promises to anybody, so stop your assumptions.
but from what i know, i am not a girl that regrets of what she is now and what she became now.
i m sorry, but i not leaving the life i have now.

also, i would try my very best to keep him away from anything or anyone trying to hinder what we're building. i am prepared to take up more challenges and i will always stand my ground.

confusion

its been quite some time now.
yet, i do not know what i want to do next.
age is an issue they say, but fuck care.
i once told myself not to fall for one.
but this one got me hooked up real well.
i still dont know what i am doing is right.
but everyday, my feelings grow again and again.
if i were to say what i feel truly, will even worth the try ?
i wish i could have him yet i m afraid.
i m afraid if he ever stray from me.
or what he actually wants from me.
i wanna be someone for him.
i wanna be his only.
i just wanna be with him.

my skinhead

He got me good, he got me well
And he makes my heart pound and swell
Shaven heads and bovver boots
And how he never forget his roots
Walking down the streets with full of pride
With his mates in unity side by side
He always fight for his rights
Beer on his hands and drunken nights
Adores the way he exterminate racism
Not to forget, the unsightly fascism
He's a victim of society but i don't care
I don't find it as a flaw or a scare
This are the things that impresses me
And i m loving everything cant you see
Now that everything has been said
This is what my call; my skinhead
Oi! Oi!

by Ninawonder Byrd.

LIPAS

I HATE THESE CREATURES.
THEY MAKE ME SCREAM IN THE MORNING AND MAKE ME HAVE BAD DREAMS. GRRRR!

deep inside

it didnt turned out like how it was suppose to be.
am i asking for too much? i dont think so.
its a need in every young women.
but i know i must take care of what i have now.
sometimes it just hurts to see and feel that you dont care
where is the love and attention i need
from my perspective, you are very kinetic
u need to go through to understand.
but i dont want u to. i hate seeing you fall.
neither do i wanna swallow everything
at the same time, i have been through worst than this.
yet i still do not know why i am feeling this way
maybe my heart yearned for it for a long time already
i am tired of leading the pack
i need a break.
could you lead for me?
i dont think you would be bothered
confrontation works?
i dont think so.
i ll just hide in this shell i am currently in
hoping you would notice the frown behind my smile
till now, goodnight.
yours sincerely, andiq nurnina hanani
ps: i dont have much time left to be here

u just unleashed the bitch in me

i love my good friend.
well she leaked out everything what u said about me.
behind the angelic innocent face, like a girl with a big big uncontrollable mouth.
i aint stupid girl, u even wanted to take my place?
and dont u dare tell me where i should study or not
if you are so brilliant and smart, why ask others to meet ur peaceful quiet needs?
why cant u just use your brilliant mind and concentrate.
do not downgrade me that way or criticize how i express things by a writing material. its true what ***** said, dasar mulut tempayan and due muke.
seburuk2 nye prangai aku tak pure mcm kau, aku nye hati lebih mulia dari kau.
i aint a firestarter like you and i dont wish to gain popularity like you do.
think popularity is everything?
we see how it will crush you.'

P.S i dont bitch about others in blog if they make me to. easily said, u create shit, i create shit double :D

TIRED

O LEVELS IS DRAINING ME OUT.

I DONT EVEN HAVE MUCH TIME TO BLOG OR USE THE COMPUTER.

I LOVE KHAIRI VERY VERY MUCH :)

well, just now i had a random talk with tinesh about muay thai, boxing and work out.

and i think i wanna go for boxing just the same as my brother.

but daddy wants me in muay thai.

oh well, i dont know.

i dont wanna be like my mom who beats people up during her secondary school days without specific skills.

i sometimes 'shoik sendiri' wanna be a fighter.

but why dream right nina?

i can just go for it. but somehow of other, something is pulling me back.

H1N1

swine flu is spreading like nobody's business. i swear. fist is was my cousin who was H1N1 positive then my elder sister. and wow! i have 2 more in the collection, my sister's boyfriend and my brother. i took the test too at CDC to see if i was a positive or negative. luckily, god loves me and i was a negative despite me suffering from 3 of the syndromes. my sayang was worried sake for me. but lucky i was not infected.

i swear to god i miss khairi like fuck.
i swear to god my miss the 'usual people'. i swear to god i miss school like fuck. i swear to god i miss everything that i used to do.

now i am miserably and pathetically at home lazing and doing art. i didnt do any of the work given through lms. i am fully concentrating on art which is already almost done. after so, i am going to study and refresh my memory about the rise and fall of venice. a class test is coming up. even though i am not in school, i fully updated thanks to SHHHAAAAAA! i love you pussy bby. hahahahhah!

seriously, the situation at my house is kinda weird. cause u see sudden health conscious people who used to be un-health conscious people every wear sanitizing their hands like every hour and spraying detol house spray everywhere on everything and toilets filled with detol products and walking around with masks on their faces like pretend to be doctors and nurses.

my mom even tried to wear face mask on my cat -.-